Managing An Emotional Bank Account

How do you manage your bank account?  Hopefully, you answered with balancing your deposits and withdrawals.  It's that simple!  This same idea applies to managing emotional bank accounts.  Your relationships with family, friends or a spouse are all emotional bank accounts in which you must manage in order to have a good standing.

People will sometimes forget what you say and do, but often do they forget how you made them feel.  So when someone is going through difficult times or trying to achieve something we must encourage one another.  Encourage one another daily.

Why is it that we know how to make withdrawals so well, but rarely make deposits? But first let's define the two and distinguish the difference.  A deposit is when someone gives or receives acceptance, affection, approval, appreciation or encouragement.  On the other hand, a withdrawal is when someone does the opposite by taking away something through rejection, hostility, criticism, condemnation or discouragement.  So what happens when you overdraw your bank account due to too many withdrawals and you haven't made enough deposits to balance the account.  Your account goes into the negative.  Well this is applied to your emotional bank accounts as well.  More deposits than withdrawals = positive healthier pleasant relationships.  However when your withdrawals exceed your deposits, your relationships go negative or even bankruptcy.

You treat others how you want to be treated.  So have empathy.  Put yourself in someone else's shoes.  Don't be apathetic or sympathetic, be empathetic.  I say be empathetic because you "feel with" the other person oppose to pity or disinterest for them and what they are going through.  You create understanding for if you were them what you would be feeling or going through.

Withdrawals deplete your emotional bank accounts and too many will cause your relationships to become tense and at risk for conflicts and misunderstandings.  The key to maintaining a successful emotional bank account is to be consistent with your deposits.  So listen, understand, be thankful, keep commitments, show support, be kind, considerate, show interest and appreciate.  Always remember that when you make consistent deposits you build up value in your emotional bank accounts.  From time to time we all make mistakes and withdrawals will happen but your reserves will compensate for the loss.  Love and forgiveness to all!

Why Do People Hold Grudges?

All my life I've been surrounded by people who hold grudges.  Now the funny thing about this is that these "grudge" holders typically target loved ones, family members and friends.  I always ask myself why am I not able to hold a grudge.  Now don't get me wrong, I can get pissed off at people just as easy as I can let shit go.  I am human, but I guess I just have a higher tolerance for bull crap people let off.  I can't even remember the last time I was upset with someone for beyond 10-15 minutes at most.

I honestly rather spend my time and energy sharing pleasant times with others than bickering or having someone else make me mad and upset over something that is usually so petty and dumb anyway.  I really don't like to entertain madness and chaos.  Yes, I guess you could say I live in a fantasy world then. Right?  I'm tired of people telling me that I'm not realistic in my method to a happier life.  If I held a grudge against everyone that ever did something that I didn't agree with or pissed me off, then guess what... I would have no family, no friends and no one in my life.  

The problem with holding grudges is that your allowing your emotions (anger) take control of you.  Why allow your anger to consume your mind when you should just either change the circumstances causing that anger within your own life or remove yourself from the situation.  I guess some people just have better anger management skills then others.  Those who are blessed with the ability to deal with anger and control it tend to have healthier relationships and overall happier lives.

Grudge holders play the victim always and they do more harm than good by holding a grudge.  I have one word for you people... FORGIVENESS!  When you hold a grudge you hinder the other person to seek forgiveness.  Hey its your choice live a better life or hold grudges and ruin relationships by pushing people away.   And always remember if the world was forgiven then you can forgive thy neighbor! :)